there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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