I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
