So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
