apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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