i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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