Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
