She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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