Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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