my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
