I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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