So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she woke up with a sticky ear
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This baby is an asshole
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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