When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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