I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
