what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
