you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
