I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
