i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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