dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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