Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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