just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize