dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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