you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
