Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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