Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
