his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
