You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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