I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
