Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
