Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
