You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
