Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
