Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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