didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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