i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize