u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
