well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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