k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
