You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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