Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
