He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
