Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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