I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
