You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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