For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
