if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I looked at my own cervix.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
