i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
