Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
