So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
