Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?