so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
