BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
