i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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