he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just cut my nipple shaving
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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