she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
