I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
