You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
