8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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