thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
