If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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