This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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