I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
